List of The Brittas Empire episodes

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This is a list of episodes of the British situation comedy The Brittas Empire. Each episode has a brief story and the date it was first shown.

The show was first shown on BBC1, between 1991 and 1997 .

Seven series and 52 episodes were created, including two Christmas specials. There was also one Children In Need short sketch.

Episode listEdit

Series 1 (1991)Edit

No. Title Original airdate
1"Laying the Foundations"3 January 1991 (1991-01-03)
Within minutes of arrival Gordon Brittas upsets the staff, causes the construction workers to go on strike and sets some very complicated rotas.
2"The Opening Day"10 January 1991 (1991-01-10)
The Duchess of Kent is to visit the centre. This is its first day open to the public. Brittas wants the day to run smoothly. Helen tries to warn Laura that Gordon will cause a disaster. Helen is proved right when Brittas upsets the builders, causing them to abandon a leaking pool that then floods the boiler room. Soon the heaters go on overdrive, the faulty electronic doors won't open, and Laura's friend Michael is electrocuted.
3"Bye Bye Baby"[n 1]17 January 1991 (1991-01-17)
Carole prepares to be reunited with her previously cheating husband, who is coming home from Spain. A misunderstanding involving a baby leads to her husband walking out on her again. Brittas causes queues and complications in reception. A guest speaker has arrived to give a talk on how to cope with stress. Brittas drives the guest speaker to breaking point.
4"Underwater Wedding"24 January 1991 (1991-01-24)
An underwater wedding is being held inside the leisure centre. The best man's finger gets stuck in a grate at the bottom of the pool. There is also a drunk, disabled man in an electric wheel chair on the loose. Brittas executes a plan involving cardboard boxes to catch him. This leads to Colin shooting Gavin with a harpoon gun, and a leak of chlorine gas throughout the building. Amongst the madness is a young woman, Beverly, who has come for a job interview.
5"Stop Thief!"7 February 1991 (1991-02-07)
Brittas is convinced there is a thief amongst the staff. He employs a series of methods to find out who the culprit is. Helen is desperate for some more pills. The new doctor insists on meeting the cause of her depression, Brittas, before giving her a prescription. After meeting Brittas the doctor writes the prescription.
6"Assassin"[n 1]14 February 1991 (1991-02-14)
Someone is out to kill Brittas, injuring Helen by accident after sabotaging Brittas's brakes, and wants Gavin to help him do the deed.

Series 2 (1992)Edit

No. Title Original airdate
1"Back from the Dead"2 January 1992 (1992-01-02)
The leisure centre is quiet. Word gets out that Gordon Brittas is away in Bulgaria. It then gets very busy. Helen arrives and informs the staff that Gordon is dead. As the staff prepare for an easier life without Brittas, they are all horrified when he walks through the leisure centre doors. Unaware her husband is alive, Helen prepares for her wedding. Carole faints in shock, and after a talk with Colin, believes Brittas wants her child to gain perpetual youth, a misunderstanding leading to Carole crushing Brittas' car with a digger, with him inside it.
2"Temple of the Body"9 January 1992 (1992-01-09)
Brittas is horrified to discover women's underwear in his office. He is convinced that a staff member is using the facilities to have sex. He segregates the sexes. The evidence gathered leads him to Gavin. The real culprit is in fact Helen, who discovers Gordon unknowingly had sex with Carol at a fancy dress party. At the same time, Julie is being hounded by reporters for rescuing a dog from a river in the nude.
3"An Inspector Calls"16 January 1992 (1992-01-16)
Brittas fears for his job when the Southern Area Inspector visits. This is due to poor visitor numbers. Colin accidentally causes a pigeon to roost in the gymnasium, leading to a chain of chaos that threatens the inspection. Helen has been insulted by a badly chosen birthday present, a moped with a yellow helmet reading "Hi I'm Helen". She decides to leave Gordon.
4"Set In Concrete"23 January 1992 (1992-01-23)
An argument with the Rotary Club has caused Brittas's feet to be set in concrete. Brittas thinks the centre has Sick Building Syndrome. A Specialist arrives. Laura tries to explain to Brittas that he is the cause of the centre's problems.
5"Mums and Dads"30 January 1992 (1992-01-30)
The centre is preparing for a concert by Vladimir Petrov, a visiting pianist from the Leningrad Conservatory. Brittas’s father arrives with an old piano. The piano is dropped knocking the pianist unconscious. Gordon decides to perform the concert himself.
6"Safety First"13 February 1992 (1992-02-13)
Brittas closes the centre for a series of fire drill exercises while trying to convince Councillor Dapping to install a new fire escape. Helen prepares a special lunch in Brittas’s office to help save their marriage. She intends to give up the pills needed to cope with her husband. Helen accidentally causes a fire.
7"New Generations"20 February 1992 (1992-02-20)
A pregnant cow, loose in the centre, accidentally eats some of Colin's "herbs". This sends it into labour on the squash courts. Carole has also eaten the leaves, and her babies end up being delivered by the vet who had originally come to assist the cow.

Series 3 (1993)Edit

No. Title Original airdate
1"The Trial"7 January 1993 (1993-01-07)
One of Brittas' enemies is coating random items with glue. Shady characters keep appearing in the centre. This leads to a bloody massacre in the squash courts, the felling of several OAPs and Brittas facing trial for multiple murder and drug-running.
2"That Creeping Feeling"14 January 1993 (1993-01-14)
Offended by Brittas' "individual figure and fitness targets", the staff refuse to speak to him. Brittas's diplomatic response is to bring in a psychiatrist to check staff anxiety levels. A deadly tropical spider is roaming the centre.
3"Laura's Leaving"21 January 1993 (1993-01-21)
Brittas prepares to welcome Sebastian Coe to the "Expansion in the Leisure Market" Conference. Laura is off to a job interview. Helen is terrified that without Laura, the centre will not be able to cope. A concussed Colin is sent to adjust the heating in the pool, leading to shocking consequences. Carole has moved her children back into the reception drawers.
4"Two Little Boys"28 January 1993 (1993-01-28)
The centre enjoys anniversary celebrations. Gordon's brother – the Reverend Horatio Brittas – is visiting. Thirty six staff from a leisure centre in Guildford are visiting for their annual staff outing. Things do not run smoothly. The centre's oil tank begins leaking, the leaked oil is then brought inside and stored in the weights room to prevent it from being struck by lightning. A firework is accidentally set off in Brittas' office. IT finds its way along the corridor to the weights room, resulting in a large explosion and fire.
5"Sex, Lies and Red Tape"4 February 1993 (1993-02-04)
Laura's estranged Husband, Michael T. Farrell, has arrived at the centre desperate for an heir to secure his fortune. Brittas is not happy and endeavours to get rid of him. Brittas is on a sponsored silence. He finds out that Helen is about to be charged with shoplifting. The staff are also hooked on the drafts of a novel that Carole has written.
6"The Stuff of Dreams"11 February 1993 (1993-02-11)
Brittas is troubled by dreams about his own mortality. He promtes age awareness with the staff. He resorts to disguising himself as an elderly man as an experiment. The result is a fight in Reception during which Brittas breaks a pensioner's glasses. However events are considered trivial when Helen goes into labour early and needs to be dashed to the hospital. To her horror Brittas drives her there. Helen gives birth in the high street.

Series 4 (1994)Edit

# Title Original airdate
1"Not A Good Day"10 January 1994 (1994-01-10)
It's life cycle week at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre, and Sebastian Coe has come to help promote the event. Confusion involving a troublesome child leads to Coe being chained to a railing and the centre being attacked by a Roman recreational society. Carole’s son, Ben, escapes from his cupboard.
2"The Christening"17 January 1994 (1994-01-17)
A Christening is in preparation for Brittas' children. Helen has misplaced them somewhere in the town. Brittas' brother Horatio (a Vicar), arrives to christen the children. He has an unpleasant girlfriend. Neither Helen nor Brittas get along with the woman. Helen flushes her head down the toilet.
3"Biggles Tells a Lie"24 January 1994 (1994-01-24)
Brittas has the day off. Colin pretends to be manager of the leisure centre to impress his daughter. All is well until Brittas turns up unexpectedly. A "magazine" is found with an explicit picture of Helen inside it.
4"Mr Brittas Changes Trains"31 January 1994 (1994-01-31)
Brittas is to attend an important dinner meeting. Helen develops lock jaw. After a staff visit to a hypnosis show, staff members are showing erratic behaviour. For example, Colin tells people he loves them whenever he hears the word 'need', and Linda barks instead of speaking. When the hypnotist arrives to solve the problem, Brittas is accidentally hypnotised himself, making him a more tolerable human being.
5"Playing with Fire"7 February 1994 (1994-02-07)
Helen and the children have gone on holiday. This leaves Brittas home alone. An ex-girlfriend of Gavin's returns, intent on reconciling. This causes a rift in Gavin and Tim's relationship. They soon realise that she has escaped from a mental home, along with a caseful of explosives. It's energy saving week. Colin has created a generator powered by the centre's "waste material".
6"Shall We Dance?"14 February 1994 (1994-02-14)
Helen is still away. Brittas and Laura grow closer. The staff begin to spread rumours. Brittas announces he'll be taking Laura to the annual staff dance. Her ex-husband has returned, desperate for another chance. Meanwhile, Carole has invited an old boyfriend to the dance, who is intent on proposing marriage.
7"The Chop"28 February 1994 (1994-02-28)
Councillor Drugget arrives in another attempt to sack Brittas as manager of Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre. Money has gone missing from petty cash. Helen borrowed it to buy a dog. Druggett gives Brittas an ultimatum; either he accepts responsibility and resigns, or his wife is prosecuted.
8"High Noon"7 March 1994 (1994-03-07)
With Brittas gone, Whitbury is busier than ever. The new manager is untidy, disorganised and apathetic. Even as a visitor to the center Brittas still manages to cause chaos. An accident involving a gas leak and a faulty clock causes a disaster of explosive proportions.

Series 5 (1994)Edit

No. Title Original airdate
1"The Old, Old Story"31 October 1994 (1994-10-31)
TV religious series Songs of Praise visits the newly re-built Whitbury Leisure Centre for a live recording. Gordon Brittas is back managing the centre. He was a local hero after his rescue of three children from the previously burning centre. A live emu is loose roaming the centre. Counsellor Drugett is still intent on getting rid of Brittas; an attractive new job in Brussels might make this possible.
2"Blind Devotion"7 November 1994 (1994-11-07)
Brittas is considering firing Colin. It is not easy. Colin has been temporarily blinded, his great aunt has died, and he's lost all of his money, but he still turns up to work on pool duty. Helen doesn't want to leave for Brittas' new job in Brussels, and the toilets are leaking.
3"Brussels Calling"14 November 1994 (1994-11-14)
Gordon visits Brussels about the job he has been offered. Even all those many miles away Brittas still manages to cause a chain of problems, involving rats and explosions. Helen is in trouble after trying to kill a teacher.
4"The Lies Have It"21 November 1994 (1994-11-21)
In an attempt to cover up Helen’s affair, Laura’s husband Michael uses Carole’s birthday as a cover story. As the day progresses, the story gets more complicated and contradictory, making Brittas suspicious. Meanwhile Tim’s angry to discover that Gavin has been taking courses on management.
5"The Boss"28 November 1994 (1994-11-28)
Gavin’s in charge for the day. Brittas creates a series of extreme catastrophes to really challenge his managerial skills. Helen tries to hide an "explicit" tattoo printed on her leg. Carole's wealthy but old boyfriend arrives at the center. Carole's hopes for a happy ending are dashed when the man dies.
6"Pregnant"5 December 1994 (1994-12-05)
Confusion plagues the centre when Brittas claims "scientific records" prove over half the staff are pregnant, including Tim. Julie is being unusually nice to her boss, and Colin is believed to be the father of Carole’s next child, so plans are made for the pair to be married.
7"UXB"12 December 1994 (1994-12-12)
Colin finds an unexploded World War II bomb. Brittas prepares to leave for his job in Brussels. Carol, Julie and Linda are given a chance of happiness, and Laura announces her pregnancy and her plans to move to America with her husband. This means that Gavin and Tim get management positions. It seems as though it'll be a happy ending for all the staff at Whitbury, but Brittas is starting to get cold feet.
8"The Last Day"19 December 1994 (1994-12-19)
It's Brittas' final day, but the cold feet continue, particularly as changing negotiations between the European nations arise. Elsewhere, a newly installed water tank is overfilled, and it begins falling through the floors of the leisure centre. Meanwhile Carole is stuck in Ben's car in reception, which is the tank's final destination... and in saving Carole, it also turns out to be Brittas' death.

Christmas Special (1994)Edit

No. Title Original airdate
Special"In the Beginning"[n 2]27 December 1994 (1994-12-27)
Set on New Year's Eve 2019 when the old staff of Whitbury Leisure Centre prepare to reunite again for New Year's Eve celebrations, the audience get taken back to the early weeks of the centre's opening, when the staff get snowed in. As a result they are forced to spend Christmas and New Year in the centre with only limited food and heating.

Series 6 (1996)Edit

No. Title Original airdate
1"Back With A Bang"27 February 1996 (1996-02-27)
After extensive surgery following his accident, Gordon Brittas returns to Whitbury Leisure Centre. Carole is back behind reception after her hopes of happiness are dashed once again. Penny, an attractive new staff member makes Tim jealous, due to Gavin paying her particular attention. Helen Brittas has escaped from her mental hospital and has spent all the life insurance money she received after Gordon's death.
2"Body Language"12 March 1996 (1996-03-12)
A block of ice crashes through the roof. Colin believes that aliens have taken over the centre. Carole’s son Ben has a birthday party in his cupboard. Helen has accidentally sold her and Gordon's house, and moves into the centre.
3"At the Double"26 March 1996 (1996-03-26)
A circus group arrive at the centre, with one member a duplicate of Brittas. This leads to confusion.
4"A Walk on the Wildside"2 April 1996 (1996-04-02)
Brittas believes there is a public right of way going through the centre. Helen realises she has two husbands. An outbreak of lethal diseases creates chaos.
5"We All Fall Down"9 April 1996 (1996-04-09)
It's "peace and hunger" week at the centre, but the children are in for a shock...literally. Tim is outraged upon discovering he gets paid less than everyone else. He keeps the staff hostage in the rest room until Brittas meets his demands.
6"Mr Brittas Falls in Love"16 April 1996 (1996-04-16)
Brittas organises a "dolphin day" at the centre. A baby tiger shark is delivered to the sports centre instead. The day worsens when a teenage girl arrives for two weeks of work experience and the staff believe she has been eaten. Linda forms a protest rally outside of the centre, opposed to the use of animals for personal amusement.
7"Snap Happy"23 April 1996 (1996-04-23)
The staff prepare for a photograph. Helen has a parachute jump which goes horribly wrong.

Christmas Special (1996)Edit

No. Title Original airdate
Special"Surviving Christmas"24 December 1996 (1996-12-24)
The staff unwillingly go on a survival and fitness trip with a vengeful actor of their trail. Meanwhile a furious Helen believes Gordon is having an affair with Carole.

Series 7 (1997)Edit

No. Title Original airdate
1"The Elephants' Child"6 January 1997 (1997-01-06)
Julie goes into labour. Colin has a large amount of manure delivered to the centre. A bungee jump is prepared. Gavin and Tim are both scared of heights, but even more scared of each other knowing this.
2"Reviewing the Situation"13 January 1997 (1997-01-13)
After receiving a series of death threats, Julie has hired a personal bodyguard. Tim Whistler is labelled as non-existent by Brittas. After showing his birth certificate it is revealed Tim is not who he seems.
3"http://etc"[n 3]20 January 1997 (1997-01-20)
Everything in the centre is computerised, and the staff now feel the computer has taken over their jobs. In an attempt to convince Brittas to scrap the system they attempt to sabotage it. Things soon get out of control.
4"Wake Up the Lion Within"27 January 1997 (1997-01-27)
Carole uses Brittas' "Waking up the lion within" technique to spawn an alter ego. It commands her to take control of the centre. This leads to the once tearful receptionist taking Brittas' job.
5"The Disappearing Act"3 February 1997 (1997-02-03)
Julie's niece goes missing after Colin supposedly makes her disappear. This is after he performed a magic trick for the little girl's birthday party, held at the centre. Meanwhile Helen hosts a dreams' workshop.
6"Gavin Featherly R.I.P."10 February 1997 (1997-02-10)
After a staff holiday trip, evidence mounts up to suggest a troubled Gavin has committed suicide. Funeral preparations are made back at the centre, but Tim is shocked to receive a call from Gavin, who claims he has been abducted by pirates.
7"Exposed"17 February 1997 (1997-02-17)
Brittas prepares for a TV documentary recording at the leisure centre, hiring a model to stand in for Colin. However a lethal disease breaks out causing chaos.
8"Curse of the Tiger Women"24 February 1997 (1997-02-24)
The staff celebrate Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre's anniversary, with a cake that Brittas made himself. Unfortunately, due to a gypsy curse placed upon him, everyone who has a piece ends up dead. Julie contemplates marriage, there is a build-up of marsh gas in the centre and Carole makes a devastating discovery. After being pecked unconscious by a bird, Brittas wakes up to a surprising revelation.

NotesEdit

  1. 1.0 1.1 This is one of the two episodes the character "Linda" did not appear in.
  2. The episode features various errors in plot and continuity, with significant differences between the centre as represented in the original series and in this special. For example, this episode is set in late 1989 whereas the first episode depicts the centre's opening in 1991. Julie appears as one of the original staff members despite not appearing until Series Two when she replaced Angie, who does not appear. The centre layout used is not the original, but instead the one introduced during Series Five after the rebuild. Accordingly, the layout of the staff room and manager's office, as well as various elements of set detailing, wrongly match those seen in later series rather than the first series.
  3. This is not a website link, this is the title of the episode.

ReferencesEdit

  • "Product details". Amazon. Retrieved 22 April 2008.

Other websitesEdit