Talk:Queen Harish
Latest comment: 9 months ago by Ayesha46
 | This article is part of the Feminism and Folklore 2024 edit-a-thon! |
 | This article contains a translation of Queen Harish from en.wikipedia. |
Hello and thank you for contributing to the 2024 Feminism and Folklore contest! My readability gizmo tracks this article at high school level, and I'd really like to see it suitable for native English speakers a few years younger and their ESL counterparts. [1] Darkfrog24 (talk) 01:21, 11 February 2024 (UTC)
- I'll try👍🏻 -- 💌Ayesha46 (talk) 03:33, 11 February 2024 (UTC)
- @Darkfrog24 have a look now?
- -- 💌Ayesha46 (talk) 04:21, 11 February 2024 (UTC)
- The gizmo still says this is high school/college/professional. I like to see it more like middle school (11-13 year olds) or high elementary (ten year olds).
- But the gizmo is a tool that runs on electricity, not my brain, which runs on sandwiches.
- Try taking sentences like this one and expanding them: "Harish was a person who worked to bring back the lost traditional Rajasthani folk dance." "Bring back" might be a confusing construction. You're translating regular English into simple English, and that means you get to rewrite it. In regular English, we know what "bring back" means: It does not have connotations of moving it from one location to another. It means he doesn't want the tradition to fail. But to express this in simple English, you have to stop and explain what, specifically, Harish is doing and why. Again, when we say the dance is "lost," a fluent English speaker knows what that means, but a simple English reader might need it spelled out.
- "Belonged to the Suthar community" is a poetic construction that has many possible literal interpretations. Stop and think about it. Is there a simpler way to say it. "They were Suthars," perhaps. Then say what a Suthar is.
- I notice you link the words "carpenter" and "cross-dressing." Do not create a situation in which the reader must click through to another article to understand this one. Try this construction [[carpenter|people who build furniture and other things out of wood]]. The link should still go to "carpenter" but the explanation is still here with the reader.
- I'm not the final word on whether this article gets you points in the contest. Darkfrog24 (talk) 00:27, 14 February 2024 (UTC)
- No problem, Thanks for the explanation as I was myself confused but now I got it.
- -- 💌Ayesha46 (talk) 05:36, 14 February 2024 (UTC)