Talk:Gettysburg Address

This article is a good article. This means the community feels it is written well.

Problem

The enWP article says that 5 different versions of the address exist, and they list all 5. Should we do the same? Griffinofwales (talk) 21:26, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

Articles are meant to be comprehensive, but not full of useless fact or waffle. —MC8 (b · t) 21:34, Sunday August 30 2009 (UTC)

I think we should. I'll try to put them in when I have time. —Classical Esther^talk 06:55, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

Review

Hello Esther. You seem like you've been working a lot on this article recently. I just wanted to drop in and give you a small review, just in case. Anyway, take a look at it and see if any of the problems are worth enough of your time to fix. Overall it looks pretty good.

• The smell of bodies rotting in the hot July air made everyone unhappy.[5] This is such a hilarious sentence, I laughed very much while I read it. But I don't think it's that wikipedia-ish. But maybe it's just me, so skip this comment....

 Fixed I've changed it to "...was disgusting", which is a BE word and true! :) Please feel free, though, to tell me if you can think of any better change to the sentence, though. —Classical Esther^talk

• "Oration", "hesitate", "sympathy", "transcribe", "exhibition", "noble", and "custodian" are all dead wikt links. They ought to be fixed or simplified, although of course a few dead wikt links don't hurt.

 Doing... I'll work on it and tell you when I'm finished. —Classical Esther^talk

 Fixed —Classical Esther^talk 03:30, 11 June 2010 (UTC)

• I think the section Nicolay Copy needs a few more links (for instance, "pencil", "ink", "birth", et cetera. Maybe these were already linked in the other sections above, though). It only has two or three wikt links that do not exist.. In addition, it would be great if "eyewitness" could be simplified or linked.

 Fixed Pencil is already linked in the section "Lincoln's Sources", and I've linked eyewitnesses and ink. —Classical Esther^talk

• The section "Hay Copy" doesn't have any links at all. Link it up! Well, even though you shouldn't overdo the linking, I still think it needs a few more blue words.

Would you be so kind as to tell me specifically which words you think should be linked? :) Thank you, —Classical Esther^talk

• The whole article needs some simplifying. Readability scores are over 9, and one of them are 10 even.

 Doing... I'll work on it. :) If you would be so good as to tell me which sentences are hard to read or confusing, I'll be happy to change them. Thank you, —Classical Esther^talk

• In the section "Other websites", there are two links to wikisource. Could you erase one of them?

 Not done One is for the Gettysburg Oration, and the other is for the address. They're different. ;) It can be kind of confusing at first, but...the article will explain. —Classical Esther^talk

I believe there are two or four more comments, but I'll get to typing them down later. :) This is just a small peer review, I hope you don't mind. Belle ^{tête-à-tête} 00:29, 10 June 2010 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your comments! They were both helpful and entertaining. Please tell me if you can find anything else to fix! Sincerely, —Classical Esther^talk 02:38, 10 June 2010 (UTC)

Some more of the commentaires

Hi, and great work so far. I looked over and found just a few more:

• The intro is a little bit long: can you shorten it? Well, that's optional, so you don't really have to do it.

 Not done I don't think it's really that long, compared to the length of the rest of the article. —Clementina talk

• "It is one of the best-known speeches in United States history." this needs a reference.

 Not done It's referenced further down in the rest of the article. —Clementina talk

• "The battlefield had more than 7,500 bodies of dead soldiers and 5,000 horses.[3]" may the word "battlefield" be simplified please?

 Not done I'm sorry, but battlefield is actually the simplest word I could think of. "Place where the battle was held" <--"held" isn't a BE word, and this makes the sentence much more confusing...and I don't think most readers will have trouble with the word "field" (a BE word). :P Please feel free to tell me or change the page if you can think of a simpler word, though. Cheerfully, —Clementina talk

• "But David Willis, a rich 32-year-old attorney, did not like this plan." I think attorney could be simplified to the word "lawyer", as the link redirects to the page also.

 Done Thanks for pointing that out. —Clementina talk

• "He asked Edward Everett to be the main speaker.[7][8] Edward Everett was a very famous orator at that time.[9]" I think the second time you use Edward Everett's name, you should only say his last name.

 Done —Clementina talk

• "...the result would be extremely doubtful (not sure), and although most..." Isn't doubtful able to link, as I tried out above? There is an article like that in the simple english wiktionary. However maybe there are not supposed to be links in quotes. It just sounds slightly awkward with the parenthesis.

 Done Thank you for telling me. :) I wouldn't have explained it in parentheses if I hadn't known that there was such an article on wiktionary. —Clementina talk

• "The next year the Presidential election would be held, and Lincoln was worried." This sounds a little bit gramatically wrong. Isn't it supposed to be "The Presidential election would be held next year, and Lincoln was worried."?

 Done I don't think the first sentence was ungrammatical, but I do like your new version better. Is this okay: The Presidential election would be held the following year, and Lincoln was worried.? —Clementina talk

There are a bit more below these sections, but it's already near to bed time and I have to be getting to sleep. I will continue my review once these are all fixed. :) Warmly, Belle ^{tête-à-tête} 12:28, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

I believe I've fixed or explained all of your concerns. Thank you very much for your review, dear Belinda, and please tell me if you can see anything else to be improved on the article. Kindly, —Clementina talk 12:51, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

That's wonderful! I can't find anything else much to fix, but if I do later I'll let you know. :) Warmly, Belle ^{tête-à-tête} 06:31, 18 June 2010 (UTC)

PVGA comments

Overall, this article is very well written. However, I did have some concerns:

• 172,000 American soldiers fought in the Battle of Gettysburg from July 1-3, 1863. Was there exactly 172,000 soldiers? Or is this an estimate?

 Fixed —Clementina talk

• But David Willis, a rich 32-year-old lawyer, did not like this idea. I don't think sentences should be started with a "but." Maybe use "however" instead.

 Fixed —Clementina talk

• There, he finished the speech he had written in Washington, D.C..[13] You need only one period at the end of this sentence.

 Fixed —Clementina talk

• Dirge and Benediction are red links. These need to be blue in order to become VGA.

 Fixed —Clementina talk

• In Lincoln at Gettysburg, Garry Wills notes the similarity Lincoln's speech and Pericles's Funeral Oration during the Peloponnesian War (James McPherson[29] and Gore Vidal[30] also note this). The word "between" should be added between "similarity" and "Lincoln's."

 Fixed —Clementina talk

• Many theories have been suggested for Lincoln's expression of "government of the people, by the people, for the people" came from. This sentence sounds awkward to me. Maybe removing "came from" would make it sound better.

 Fixed —Clementina talk

• He had also written in the 1888 work Abraham Lincoln: The True Story of A Great Life that he had brought to Lincoln some of the sermons of abolitionist minister Theodore Parker, of Massachusetts, and that Lincoln had been moved by them. Firstly, this sentence needs to be reworded a bit, as it's confusing. Secondly, I wasn't quite sure who "he" was in the very beginning of this sentence. Was "he" William Herndon, or Lincoln?

 Fixed —Clementina talk

• It looks as though there are two of the same links to wikisource, one being in the "Five manuscripts" section, and the other in the "Other websites" section. I believe there should only be one, with the one in "Five manuscripts" being removed.

 Fixed —Clementina talk

• Much argument about its existence and origins. This isn't a complete sentence.

 Fixed —Clementina talk

That's about half of the article reviewed. I will review the rest of the article once these are fixed. Cheers, Megan ( ^t/_c ) 21:41, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your comments, Megan, they were really helpful! :) I've fixed all of them. Please tell me if you see any more mistakes, and I'll be very happy to correct them. Even if the article doesn't become a VGA, I'm sure it's been made much better by all this help! —Clementina talk 03:31, 23 July 2010 (UTC)

A few more

• The Springfield, Ma. Republican newspaper printed the entire speech,... I believe "Ma." should capitalized to "MA."

•  Fixed Good catch, you're right. -- Lauryn Ashby (talk)

• In ref number 7, at the very end, it says, "at gettysburg.com." Why is that there?

•  Fixed No idea, but it shouldn't be; removed. -- Lauryn Ashby (talk)

• In ref number 34, it says, "...(Fall greger2000)..." Shouldn't it just be "(Fall 2000)?"

•  Fixed Removed. -- Lauryn Ashby (talk)

• In ref number 64, I believe there is a typo, as it says, "name=Prochow, Herbert Victor..."

•  Fixed Changed "Prochow" to "Prochnow" -- Lauryn Ashby (talk)

• Date formats are mixed in refs 8, 12, 17, 29, 30, 37, 42, 51, 70, and 72.

•  Fixed I haven't done ref formatting in awhile, so someone should probably double check, but I'm pretty sure this is fixed now. -- Lauryn Ashby (talk)

• I think you fixed all of them :) However, while looking through the refs a second time, I found refs 40 and 57 to have mixed date formats. Megan ( ^t/_c ) 12:36, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

•  Fixed —Clementina talk 12:47, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

That's all. :) Megan ( ^t/_c ) 00:47, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

Brackets

There are a couple of spots where both square[ and round ( brackets are used. Should these be all round ones? Peterdownunder (talk) 07:03, 11 September 2010 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your comment, Peterdownunder. :) Well, the brackets serve different purposes - the (round brackets) are used for explaining hard words more simply in parentheses, and the [square brackets] are used for adding words to make the sentences flow more smoothly grammatically. Is this confusing? If so, perhaps I can add a note in the article or something. Cordially, —Clementina talk 07:49, 11 September 2010 (UTC)

Minor

"By August 1863, millions of people had been killed or hurt because of Civil War battles. Because of this, the North began to dislike Lincoln and war." You aren't supposed to start a sentence with "because". Battleaxe9872 ^文/ _テ 22:30, 17 September 2010 (UTC)

Thank you, and done here. :) Best, —Clementina talk 06:11, 7 October 2010 (UTC)