Talk:Teddy bear

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Simonbostock in topic Improving this article

Improving this article

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Question Does anyone have any good sources for improving this article? What about an outline of potential changes to make? -Justin (koavf)TCM16:31, 31 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Shouldn't the whole 'Build a Bear' section just be deleted? It's 100% advertising and has nothing else to do with Teddy Bears. Simonbostock (talk) 17:53, 13 May 2012 (UTC)Reply

Possible change

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I dont know if it just because you are still working on your article [ i am still working on mine ;)] so obviously just adding more info on the teddy bear. Also In the beggining when you say its a toy that looks like a bear, i think i would change that to a stuffed animal that looks like a bear. - I'll be looking for more changes, something better to help you (LRNJEOZ (talk) 23:56, 13 November 2011 (UTC))Reply

Tourtles22 Hey, I stopped by your page to conduct a peer review and it doesn't appear as if you have altered its contents yet. This page needs much improvement. It doesn't even host complete sentences. Teddy bears are such a broad topic there should plenty of information you could include. I collect Teddy Bears in TY Beanie Baby form, statues, and I even have a teddy bear lamp. That's one reason I chose your article to review. I look forward to seeing the completed project. Please consider that teddy bears are more than just stuffed animals. A teddy bears across the world section would be interesting as well. Including the history is intriguing. Also, a section on the materials in which they are comprised would be nice. I look forward to the updates. Jsollowa (talk) 02:01, 14 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Copy edits

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First off, the roosevelt section may need to be finished. It leaves off that he didnt want anyone to shoot the bear, but why did that give the name to the stuffed animal.

Also Why did the soldiers use the bears?

Princess D's name should probably be made to have a link to a page for her because not everyone will know who she is and therefore not understand why there is a significance that a toy would be made after her.

In the children's toy section, you may want to define what mohair is because withought a definition it makes that part hard to understand.

Help Learning, the sentence "bears are everywere children recognize them" kind of hard to understand, just put "..everywere and children..." The whole section is a little hard to understand:

In the mid-1950s, teddy bears were used to help children who did not have mothers.

They could give a safe place.[4]

bears are everywhere children recognize them

bear theme language, books/songs

different bears for different needs[5]

I would suggest something more like:

  • In the mid-1950s, teddy bears were used to help children who did not have mothers.(add something about the teddy bears being a comfort {i dont know but something like a comfort; thats what I see when children have and hold a teddy bear} this would help to understand why they were given to children who didnt have mothers)
  • They could give a safe place.[4]( there again this ties into the comfort idea)
  • Bears are everywhere children recognize them ( do you mean real bears or just teddy bears, or even tell how children recognize them {cuddly?, Cute?, etc})
  • Bear theme language, books/songs (this im not sure i understand, its to short and vauge. If you are talking about themes like books say something like an example of the Bernstien Bears book or Little bear (tv/book)Goldie locks and the 3 bears. for songs maybe talk about a song like the Five Bears {that helped with counting}
  • Different bears for different needs[5]

(maybe just tell of a few types: like the care bears {i think they all had different purposes like love} or the bear {i dont remember the name of it but it was a big thing in the toy world} that would read stories. Then there is Smokey the bear)

Other than those things I dont see any problems, everything else is very understandable and informative. I hope this helps you out some.(LRNJEOZ (talk) 17:50, 21 November 2011 (UTC))Reply

Suggestions for improvement from Awadewit

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Here are some suggestions for improvement:

  • The "lead" or beginning of the article needs to be a summary of the article.
  • Remember that all information you add needs to have a source.
  • Be sure that all of your paragraphs are coherent ideas - some are only one sentence long or only a phrase long.
  • The "Children's toy" section looks like it could be at the beginning of the article.
  • There are many different styles of teddy bear and the history of teddy bear toys is long and stories - do you have any resources on that?

Good start! Awadewit (talk) 01:34, 27 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Removing 'Build-A-Bear Workshop' Section

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I've just removed the entire Build-A-Bear Workshop section from this page. A couple of reasons why:

  • There are hundreds of build-a-bear companies around the world and singling out one for inclusion here is bad form.
  • It reads like an advert for the 'Build-A-Bear Workshop' company. This is a fairly prominent page, so this is out of place. If the company is truly notable they should have their own page, not an entire section of the 'Teddy bear' page.
  • This page should contain useful information about teddy bears in general: I don't think this qualifies.

Feel free to disagree an re-instate if you feel I'm in the wrong. If you do, however, please provide some reasoning here... it would be useful.

Return to "Teddy bear" page.