Talk:Singapore

Latest comment: 13 years ago by Beefball in topic Peer Review

Portal

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Are there any Singapore Wikipedians here? If so, we should make a portal.:)-- 贡献 Chat with Tdxiang on IRC! 07:39, 3 May 2006 (UTC)Reply

Proposed good article

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This article is currently flagged for proposed good article. Please give your comments here Hydriz (talk) 04:09, 11 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

Records

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It says that Singapore has many records, yet only one is listed. Certainly the most incomplete section, but even if it was complete (if possible), is it necessary to keep? wiooiw (talk) 22:44, 16 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

This is an important section. However, we need contributors to add another record(since I only know this). Hydriz (talk) 14:58, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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Hello, I thought I'd like to put up a few comments I have with this article here, to help promote it to Good Article Status; I hope you don't mind. The article seems overall in potential shape, but needs a few more references on each section, and more blue links.

  • Most students would take a third language as it affects their GCE O'levels grade and will increase their chance in getting an overseas scholarship — What is "GCE O'levels grade"? Please either link this to an article or explain the initials of GCE.
  Done Chenzw  Talk  07:49, 20 December 2010 (UTC)Reply
  Done Chenzw  Talk  07:49, 20 December 2010 (UTC)Reply
  • The government runs a campaign against Singlish as this language is being spoke badly about by people from other countries. This sentence would be preferred with a reference, please, and isn't "spoke" supposed to be changed to the correct grammar of "spoken"? Or am I wrong?

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • "Derived", although a Basic English word, seems a little complex. Maybe you could change the sentence to "There are many versions of where the name came from"?

  Done Kansan (talk) 02:02, 18 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • The small section "1819 to 1940" needs at least one reference, as it is part of the history of Singapore.

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • The hard times during World War II made the people think that the British were not as strong as before. This would sound better with a reliable source as well, because it could be misunderstood as slightly point of view.

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • At first, many people thought Singapore would not be able to live on its own. However, the people of Singapore wanted to make their new country better. I don't want to be picky, but I think this also sounds a little funny without references.
  • Singaporean food is an example of the range of cultural identities in the country. This sentence sounds a little complex; could it be more simplified?

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:17, 2 January 2011 (UTC)Reply

  • But, one radio transmitter in Singapore is not controlled by the government. This sentence is a little strange. The word "however" would sound better than "but" in this case.

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • It is one of the busiest ports around the world with many ships coming in to trade in a single day. Reference is needed for this claim.

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

Changed to Jurong Island. Kind of POV when only writing the Port Authority of Singapore. Hydriz (talk) 14:49, 2 January 2011 (UTC)Reply

  • Some website links in Other Websites should be {{citeweb}}ed.

That's pretty much it! Do let me know when you've fixed all of them. :) ingly, Bella tête-à-tête 01:59, 18 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

Additional comments

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  • The photo in the references section "sandwiches" the references. It should be moved or removed.

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • Singapore is part of the ASEAN(Association of the South East Asian nations) network needs a space between ASEAN and the begin parenthese.

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • In 1941, due to the weak defenses of the country, the Japanese attacked Singapore and took control of the colony on 15 February 1942 and renamed it Syonan-to (pronounced as Sho-nan-to), meaning Light of the South, during the rule Sentence is a run-on. Break into two sentences at 15 February 1942.

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • The above mentioned sentence needs a reference.

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • All of the sections could be expanded by about a paragraph.
  • The giant Sir Stamford Raffles photo should be moved or removed, as it sandwiches text.

  Not done The photo is an important part of the article. But the image will be increased in size Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • There is an extra space between the "World war II" section and the "Independence section"

  Done Hydriz (talk) 14:56, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • Many people who suffered are usually to give entertainment for the Japanese. Sentence sounds awkward, reword it.

Tell me when you're done with these for a more comprehensive review. Albacore (talk · Changes) 00:20, 19 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

Peer Review

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Positives

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  1. It is a long article. We do need more like it
  2. It is somewhat broad in its coverage
  3. There are images to illustrate the article

Negatives

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  1. There's not even one source in several sections. At WP:PGA or WP:PVG, the article will not be promoted.
  2. The sources used are bare urls
  3. There's not enough WP:RS.
  4. There's a lot of redlinks
  5. There are a lot of large sentences with complex words.

Final comments

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Lead
  1. Pupils - needs to be simplified
  2. "Pupils are also taught their mother tongue language, which means that the Chinese learn Mandarin, the Malays can learn Malay, and so on." - needs to be broken up into two sentences. This sentence is far too long and complex.

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 14:15, 1 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

History (pre-1819)
  1. "One popular (famous)" - we know what popular is. This sounds WP:OR
  2. "There were also many pieces" - pieces of what?
  3. This whole section needs a WP:RS. There's no source here.

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 15:24, 23 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

History (1819-1940)
  1. Can you shorten the first para? (make it into two sentences instead of one big sentence)

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 15:24, 23 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

World War II
  1. No need to link things twice (15 February 1942)
  2. "Japanese rule until the surrender of the Japanese in September 1945 back to the British" - this sentence does not make any sense. Laregly because of the ending.
  3. "Many people were tortured or killed by the Japanese as they did not follow the rules properly, or were suspected of going against the Japanese." - needs to be re-written into two sentences, not one long one.

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 15:24, 23 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Independence
  1. (equal treatment/fairness) - does not need to be there. You wikilinked it
  2. (quarrels) - remove
  3. (on its own) - does not need to be in parenthesis

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 15:24, 23 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

After Independence
  1. Source?

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 15:24, 23 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Education
  1. six years of compulsory - needs a period at the end
  2. Primary school, which ends with all students taking a Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE). - missing something?
  3. (4-5 years) - needs en-dash. Secondly, why is it in parenthesis?
  4. may also opt - needs simplifying
  5. Students can also go to Institutes of Technical Education (ITE), where students study for two years to receive a "National ITE Certificate" (NITEC), which is only recognized in Singapore. - needs breaking up, too large of a sentence

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 15:24, 23 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Language
  1. amongst - needs simplifying
  2. Many Chinese-speaking foreigners and Chinese-speaking Singaporeans work in services, so Chinese is the main language of many workers such as hawkers, retail assistants, hairdressers, etc. in Singapore today this sentence is way too big
  3. Singaporean English mainly comes from British English needs period at the end
  4. For example, in a Singaporean Chinese family, the grandmother might speak Hokkien as her first language, the mother might speak Mandarin as her first language and Hokkien/English as her second languages, while the grandson might speak English as his first language and Mandarin as his second language. - this sentence is too big and complex
  5. (Bahasa Melayu) - this means Malay. So why even have it here if earlier you said Malay? Consider removing it
  6. Many people speak Chinese - Mandarin and other Chinese dialects - in Singapore needs en-dashes
  7. Hokkien used to be a lingua franca among the Singaporean needs an "s" after the word Singaporean.

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 15:24, 23 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Media
  1. MediaCorp, the state-owned media corporation, operates all seven local broadcast television channels and 13 radio stations of the total 18 radio stations in Singapore - needs to be broken up. Too big

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 15:24, 23 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

National flower
  1. The national flower of Singapore is Vanda Miss Joaquim. It is a type of orchid and it is a hybrid, making Singapore the only nation in the world to have a hybrid as a national flower. - needs to be broken up. Too big

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 14:40, 22 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Climate
  1. Although Singapore does not experience the four seasons, but June is usually warmer and December is cooler due to the more frequent rains of Singapore during the year-end - too complex, needs to be shorten and en-dash where needed

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 14:59, 21 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Relations with other countries
  1. Singapore, although it is one of the smallest countries in the world, has connections with countries from all around the world. - source?

  Fixed--Beefball Talk 11:39, 20 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

ASEAN
  1. Singapore is part of the ASEAN (Association of the South East Asian nations) network, which is a small organisation that unites all South East Asian countries so that the member countries can work with each other in times of need. - needs to be shorten. Too big

  Fixed--Beefball Talk 17:51, 13 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Land reclamation
  1. The first land reclamation project was started since the 1960s - too complex
  2. which was an about 9% increase in total land area - you may want to add a word or remove one from this sentence

  Fixed--Beefball Talk 17:51, 13 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Money
  1. There are also many money changers in Singapore to change from a foreign country's currency to the Singapore dollar. They are usually found near hotels so that it would be easier for visitors to convert their money. - is too complex and big

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 14:15, 1 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Transportation
  1. (+65-6-DIAL-CAB or +65-6342-5222) - is this even necessary? Remove

  Fixed --Beefball Talk 14:15, 1 October 2011 (UTC)Reply

Overall

The article is in somewhat of a good shape. Please address the following concerns and you should be on your way to having the article being a WP:GA or WP:VG article. Note, I do not watch peer reviewed articles. If you have left a message here, please contact me on my talk page. Best, Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 14:23, 30 September 2011 (UTC)Reply

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