Talk:Thumbelina

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Comments for simplifying this article

Latest comment: 9 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion

Just looking at the lead and the plot section, here are some notes:

complex words and phrases in the lead: tiny, creatures of field and forest, flower-fairy, completely Andersen's invention, inspiration, casual, morals, adapted
complex words and phrases in the plot: childless, barleycorn, bride
tone issues in the plot: pops open, escapes, floats, snatched, cockchafer (yes, you explain it, but using the complex word doesn't help the reader), proud, arrogant, social class, take a dislike to, without a second thought, hateful
need linking, explaining, or simplifying: lily pad, swallow

Miscellaneous notes:

There's too much detail about the booklets that this story isn't in.
Bad verb tense in "they have been friends ever since" -- makes it sound like real-world instead of fiction.
needs more links
The plot could do with fewer flowery words. It should give a brief description in simple language and encyclopedic tone, not retell the whole story.