Talk:Thumbelina

Latest comment: 9 years ago by Auntof6 in topic Comments for simplifying this article

Comments for simplifying this article

change

Just looking at the lead and the plot section, here are some notes:

  • complex words and phrases in the lead: tiny, creatures of field and forest, flower-fairy, completely Andersen's invention, inspiration, casual, morals, adapted
  • complex words and phrases in the plot: childless, barleycorn, bride
  • tone issues in the plot: pops open, escapes, floats, snatched, cockchafer (yes, you explain it, but using the complex word doesn't help the reader), proud, arrogant, social class, take a dislike to, without a second thought, hateful
  • need linking, explaining, or simplifying: lily pad, swallow

Miscellaneous notes:

  • There's too much detail about the booklets that this story isn't in.
  • Bad verb tense in "they have been friends ever since" -- makes it sound like real-world instead of fiction.
  • needs more links
  • The plot could do with fewer flowery words. It should give a brief description in simple language and encyclopedic tone, not retell the whole story.

--Auntof6 (talk) 05:17, 4 January 2015 (UTC)Reply

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