Talk:Hurricane Ismael

Latest comment: 14 years ago by Barras in topic VGA thoughts

Some thoughts change

Okay...

  • hurricane needs a link
  • link "formed"
  • Maybe cut a couple of the longer lead sentences in half to improve the readability stats.
  • Infobox - dissipated isn't Simple. Neither is pressure.
  • I never ever saw the point of the storm path template. It's just a really small thumbnail with "storm path" caption. I'd just use a regular thumbnail so it's the same size as other thumbnails....
  • Is "weather system" Simple?
  • Same for "depression"
  • "...quickly weakened as it was torn apart by land..." not sure this is Simple either.
  • "About 57 fishermen..." I always find these statements mildly strange - at least 57? what does the citation say?
  • Try not to start two consecutive sentences with "About..."
  • "197.104 mm" way overprecise, no decimal places are needed here in my opinion, and I think a linked mm would be good.
  • "A total 59 people" total of 59?
  • "Rainfall from Ismael" caption - would be better as "A map of..."?
  • Is "Moisture" simple?
  • "...was retired, which means it will never be used again." - not keen on these run-on explanation sentences when we have wiktionary and wikilinking...
  • If you fancy it, you could update all your accessdate fields. They all checked out for me.

The Rambling Man (talk) 19:18, 11 May 2009 (UTC)Reply

GA change

A few points:

  • Is landfall simple?
Not the first time. Yotcmdr =talk to the commander= 19:52, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • the storm caused waves waves. Surely you only say waves once.
  • Is rainfall simple (maybe link to rain)?
I'd link to rain, could confuse people. Yotcmdr =talk to the commander= 19:52, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • Link tropical storm.
  • Is northward simple?
I don't think so. Maybe towards the north or link to north. Could be confusing. Yotcmdr =talk to the commander= 19:52, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • Is sped up simple?
Confusing, as it's a phrasal verb. And the Sped bit isn't that obvious. Yotcmdr =talk to the commander= 19:52, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • Hurricane Ismael caused waves that were 30 feet (9 m) didn't you already say that?
At the begining and later on. Yotcmdr =talk to the commander= 19:52, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply
Yeah, it's in the lead. –Juliancolton | Talk 20:03, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • About 57 fishermen died How can about 57 people die? Was anyone half-dead?
Not really the same meaning. Yotcmdr =talk to the commander= 19:52, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply
It is indeed. –Juliancolton | Talk 19:58, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • Is flooding simple?
I'd link to flood. Could be confusing. Yotcmdr =talk to the commander= 19:52, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • Is power outages simple?
Don't agree, outages certainly isn't.
  • Is paved roads simple?
  • Is wrecked simple?
Not sure wreck is BE850 or 1500. Not simple enough. Yotcmdr =talk to the commander= 19:52, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • sheets links to sheets of paper.

That's all I could see. Yotcmdr =talk to the commander= 19:40, 24 May 2009 (UTC)Reply

VGA thoughts change

  • eventually - is not encyclopaedic
  • offshore - should be linked
  • crop lands - or at least crop should be linked
  • Because damage from the storm was so bad - a the between Because and damage is probably missing?
  • Two redlinks in the template at the bottom.

That's all Barras (talk) 19:05, 2 July 2009 (UTC)Reply

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