@Haoreima: could you put Simple English versions of the poetic language that you quote here? Look at James Hemings#Philadelphia, the quote from Jefferson. Darkfrog24 (talk) 04:10, 27 February 2022 (UTC)Reply
- @Darkfrog24: The women said, "There is a great bull that lurks among the reeds of the shores of the lake, and it had claimed life of many. So, we dare not to fish there."
- In order to preserve the poetic beauty at the same time, let me add another passage saying "this means that:... " like this:-
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A big bull is hiding among the reeds of the shores of the lake and waiting for attack. It had killed many people. So, we do not have the courage to fish there. So, we are afraid to fish there.
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How is this simplification?
- Haoreima (talk) 04:18, 27 February 2022 (UTC)Reply
- @Darkfrog24: Another passage: "God Thangjing had spoken in my ears and I have his behest upon me. Verily said the God, I am sated with offerings of flesh and fish, but this year, my heart longs for the sweet savour of the flesh of the mighty bull that lurks in the reeds that border the water of the lake. My servant Khamba vows that he will bring it for my honor and for the welfare of the State."
- Simplification:-
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God Thangjing had ordered me by speaking to my ears. The God truly said that He was fully satisfied with the offerings of flesh and fish. So, the God wished for the tasty flesh of the big bull that was hiding in the reeds in the shores of the lake. God added that his servant Khamba promised Him to bring the bull for His honor and for the good health, happiness and luck of the kingdom.
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- Haoreima (talk) 04:24, 27 February 2022 (UTC)Reply
- I think this one is simple enough. What do you think?
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This great bull was once the Lord of your father's herd. Go to him, speak your father's name in his ear, and show him this Rope of silk.
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- Haoreima (talk) 04:28, 27 February 2022 (UTC)Reply
- Remember, the only reason I'm asking you to do it is because judges aren't supposed to make big changes to the articles and then still judge them.
- They could all be a bit simpler. "We do not have courage" could be "We are afraid to fish there" or "We are not brave enough to fish there." Remember, you're not just translating word for word. If I were simplifiying "It's raining cats and dogs," I'd say "It's raining very hard." What does it mean to be lord of a herd? A leader or just the best bull? Darkfrog24 (talk) 04:33, 27 February 2022 (UTC)Reply
- @Darkfrog24: Might be being the best, it became the leader. Haoreima (talk) 04:36, 27 February 2022 (UTC)Reply
