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-Razorflame (contributions) Talk 17:39, 14 December 2007 (UTC)
Art Pepper feedback
changeHi - I saw your new article on Art Pepper and your comments on the talk page. I think you have done a good job on simplifying but there is probably still a way to go see a readability review of the article. The US grade levels is probably too high for the target audience of this wikipedia. However, it is a stub so ...
This tool suggests rewriting the following sentences:
- Some of his most famous albums are Art Pepper Meets the Rhythm Section, The Aladdin Recordings (three volumes), Art Pepper + Eleven - Modern Jazz Classics, Gettin' Together, and Smack Up.
- Maybe dot points?
- Along with Chet Baker, Gerry Mulligan, Shelly Manne and others, he performed and recorded a lot of very good music.
- Word order probably makes it harder to read for a non-native speaker or someone with not a lot of education in English (including children)
- There was also a movie made called Art Pepper: Notes from a Jazz Survivor, which is available on DVD.
- Maybe have 2 sentences?
At the bottom of the editing page is a notice which says Do not copy articles directly from the English Wikipedia, because they are usually too complex, and can use templates that are not here. You might want to copy into your user space and edit there before promoting. Or even better, I do recommend starting from scratch and writing for this audience - one can get awfully caught up in modifying prose and I think it is often easier to start again. I think you will find you will probably meet readability more easily by starting again. A useful page is Wikipedia:How to write Simple English articles and the associated vocabulary list at Wikipedia:Basic English combined wordlist.
One way to further simlify the Art Pepper article is to reveiw the vocabulary used agains the Basic Englsih wordlist and make sure you substitute words from that list, or explain the words you have used.
Learning how to write Simple English isn't easy but perhaps it is important to remember it is meant to be another language.
Good to see you here. Regards --Matilda (talk) 05:07, 13 November 2008 (UTC)