Felixcream

Sun Yat-sen's Tomb

Thank you!

Thank you for writing about something that you saw in Nanjing! I could completely understand everything that you wrote, so you're already doing very well at using English to talk to people. =)

Changes I made

To help as an English teacher and to make your writing better, I fixed the mistakes that you made. If you want see each change that I needed to make, you can see them here. The big ideas are:

• Use the first sentence to say what the thing is: Sun Yat-sen's Tomb is the tomb of Sun Yat-sen... but (don't forget) it's also a park.
• EVERY English word has a space on both sides. That means sentences MUST have a space after their period and before the next word.
• Don't use "the" if you also use a possessive word. You were saying that it was the tomb of "The Sun Yat-sen" but we don't use "the" for people's names most of the time.
• Don't use "is" and another verb together. It's not ever "is become". You mean "is" or "became" or "has become" or "is becoming" or something else.
• Don't add s if you're only talking about one thing.
• Don't join two sentences with a comma. Use two sentences or use a word like "and" or "but".
• "The political system china" means 特别政治制度瓷器. You mean "China's political system" or "the political system of China".

Changes you should make

It's OK to talk some about who Sun Yat-sen was and why he was important, but you forgot that you're not writing the Sun Yat-sen article. You're writing about Sun Yat-sen's Tomb and its park. There are a lot of questions you left unanswered.

• You should answer the question "Where is it in Nanjing?"
• You should tell people the local Chinese name of the tomb. That's a little hard to write, so you can just copy this: Its Chinese name is the ''Zhōngshān Líng'' (中山陵).
• You should answer the question "Why is the Chinese name very different from the English name?"
• You should answer the questions "How big is the tomb? How big is the park?" Don't just say they're "big"; give people the numbers in meters and square kilometers.
• You call it "a historical site" but that means a place where history happened. What important thing happened at the tomb? or is there a museum in the tomb?
• You should answer the question "How did he change China's political system? When was Sun Yat-sen a leader? What kind of leader was he?" Don't say he "made it better"; say that he changed it from a [what] into a [what]. Don't say he was "good"; say he was a [king/emperor/general/president/whatever].
• You should answer the question "Why was he buried in Nanjing even though he was born in Cuiheng in Guangzhou and he died in Beijing?"
• You should answer the question "When did he die? When was the tomb built? When was the park opened?"
• You should answer the question "How much does it cost to go in? When is it open?"
• You should answer the question "How can people get there using Nanjing's public transportation?"

You probably don't know the answers to all of those. You can look here or here but DON'T JUST COPY THEM. Try to answer the questions in your own words.

Jiayou! — Mr Spear (talk) 13:30, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

Edits on my talk page

Are you the same as User:Mr.Wei pppp and User:3242465279pppp? Why would you start several accounts and why would you write about Sun Yat-sen's Tomb on my talk page?

If those were someone else, tell them to write about their own topics and write about them in the correct place. Also, tell Mr. Wei that there is a space between "Mr." and "Wei". — Mr Spear (talk) 16:08, 18 November 2018 (UTC)